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Kindness

Wake up in front of restaurant, feeling a little dizzy
I don’t know what exactly happened the night before

Saturday morning, I feel like I’m turning back to be what i used to be
Relying anything on the world
Breathing the fresh air outside the house
Walking and making a brief step on the street without knowing where to go, who to call to, what am I really searching of
Well, maybe I know what really searching of, a home
Something that i won’t find
That makes me riding
A nonstop riding and journey

I eat with some pennies that left in my pocket
All I have are my red backpack with laptop, camera, charger, and water inside it
I eat at that restaurant with all money that I have, charge my camera, type something on my laptop, and listen to Lana Del Rey and P!nk over and over again
My body drown in the smell of alcohol and cigarette
Don’t even remember where they came from
A chat, message, and call jazz up my phone
That moment where I realized I made a thousand of mistakes the night before
Upset, disappoint, angry, tired, and guilty, I don’t even know what I really want and feel
But i decided to cry
Besides me, there is a couple, they talk with a sign language
What a unique thing to watch
Behind them, there is a family, a couple and their children, they;re happy, or at least they seem happy to me

Human
They may sit next to each other
Look a like
Have a same favorite book, author, food, music, movie, color, etc
They may spend a lot of time together
But to be sure, they would not be same, every human are different
Different history, culture, believe, background, and the most important, their way to see reality and to think
My reality isn’t reality
We’re never have the same perception about reality

I move on
Choose the lightest car to get into it
They took me to the near of the mountain
A perfect air
But the street talks to me
“You have to be somewhere else, take the black car”
Not so long after it, there is a black car come by
I walk into it

It leads me to a garden
Without a flower, nor leaves
There is an old women
She is eating a fried rice, and open up a conversation

She’s 58 years old and works as a beggar
Her husband and children had been died in a capital city
That’s why she hates it so much
She lost everything, doesn’t have money to go home, lives in a street with her friends that she found there
She always has a dream to be home, but it’s the way too long and takes a lot of money
She asks me, “Why you don’t eat?”
“I don’t have enough money,” I said
I had lost all of my money the night before
She gives me a food
She gives her wealth, the pennies that she born from her sweat all that day in that harsh city
I really appreciate her, but I know something
I won’t be able to pay her back of what she gave to me
We are a rider, we belong to no where, we belong to every where, nomadic

I believe in the kindness of stranger
I found it a lot in the darkest street night, among the killer, mosque, church, bar, brothel
I have no argue to say that it’s true
All I have is a believe
Believe in human, conscience, instinct, world

I’m so sleepy and decide to sleep in that garden
Not long after it, there is a police, he says i shouldn’t sleep there
I step away
There is a man, comes up and talks to me
He shares some part of his lives
28 years old, an “owner” to that garden, which no one is dare to him in that area, he moves to a lot of places since he was 15 years old, but ended up to come back to his hometown, he loves it a lot
He takes me to a brothel, we meet a prostitution

She is 26 years old
“It’s a place where you won’t find a friend, we’re a rival to each other. That’s the way we survive each day,” she tells me about the place
“If you want to talk more about this place, books me tonight, I’ll wait you at 10 o’clock”
But of course I will not coming, I have no money left

I meet one of my friend on the street, near a movie festival
He’s nominated to one of the category
He gets a room in a hotel near it
He takes me to it, and finally I take a bath, it’s always nice to feel clean
He also gives me a dinner

But i have to move on, continue my ride

I was trying really hard, had a long way journey, to find a home
But that day, I realized about one thing
I was in my home, I’m always homed, because the world is my home, the strangers that I met a long the way are my family, the rode that had been singing along with me are my room, the camera, notes, and pen are my diary
And nothing can break my happiness of feeling to be home again

Thankyou to all of the kindness in this world
I'm glad to be one of the dust that live in it
Thankyou God to dump me in this planet

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